LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS : what not to do

Hello again guys,I hope that all has been well with all of you. Relationships are hard period but to be in a long distance relationship is even harder,you don't see the person as often as you would like to and the fact that you are miles apart makes it hard for you to trust your partner. Many relationships fail due to this,yes love is a very important tool in a relationship but people also need to understand that trust is just as important and without it your relationship is doomed.
Most long distance relationships don't stand the test of time because the people in them make mistakes,I call them 'the no no nos of long distance relationships'..

Every relationship – whether separated by distance or not – requires that two individuals give each other enough space to grow. However, when you have been away from each other for a long time, you might want to be clued into everything that your partner is doing – what he did over the weekend, who were the friends she went out with for shopping or what is for dinner tonight. While it is a good idea to be in touch on daily basis, prying too much into your partner’s routine or social life may put him or her off the relationship.
 

Appearing insecure

If you are insecure about the people your partner is meeting while living away from you, then it is a sign, that you are not emotionally mature enough for a long distance relationship. If you keep nagging your partner about how miserable it is for the two of you and how the other couples have it so well, it is bound to upset him or her that you feel so miserable about the relationship. Instead, look at the positive side to a long-distance relationship and take heart, that a meeting after a period of absence will be that much sweeter.  


 

Making allegations of infidelity

Once the seeds of suspicion have been planted in your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it means that you do not trust your partner wholeheartedly. Worse still, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you, without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.
 

Taking your partner for granted

While it is a mistake to nag your partner about his or her life away from you, it is equally fatal to take your lover for granted. It is a fact, that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship, it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort, to keep it going. Be creative in coming up with romantic ideas to spice up your relationship, even if it is separated by distance.  
 

Not involving your partner in the relationship

When the two of you are living separately, it is easy to fall into the habit of taking decisions on your own. But take care to involve you partner, in matters where you both are concerned. For instance, ask your lover what he or she thinks of a Caribbean cruise the next time you can be together. Or inform your partner before you make any changes to a joint bank or credit card account. 
 

Adopting a wait-and-see stance

Very often, couples living away from each other, do not believe that their relationship can work, but at the same time they are reluctant to let go of each other. If you keep sitting on the fence, waiting to see how things might turn out, remember that this is not a relationship at all and will get you nowhere.  
 

Saving all your money for later

If it is within your means, make sure that you can meet up with your partner as often as possible. It makes no sense, saving your money now and planning to spend it later, when you have agreed that this relationship is your future. So why not spend on it?  
 

Not being in touch

Pick up your partner’s phone calls, even if it is to say that you’ll be calling back. Keep in touch with each other by phone, email and text messages. A good way of bridging the distance just a little, is to use a web cam, since this offers a way to visually communicate with each other in real time.
 

Having an affair yourself



The biggest mistake, in my opinion, is to look for a third person to fill in for your partner, when he or she is not around. By allowing an outsider to enter your life – however briefly – you are breaking the basic bond of mutual trust that holds two people together. This is not only cheating on your partner, but an indication that you do not believe in the relationship yourself.
 

Not having enough faith in the relationship

There is no dearth of pessimists, who are ready to write off long distance relationships as impractical and thus impossible to maintain. Don’t believe all that critics say, because once you give in to their negative comments, you will always feel haunted by its risks –  both imagined and real – until it will actually destroy your relationship. So if and when you do decide to enter into a long distance relationship, give it your all and it will surely enrich your life.

These are some of the mistakes most common in a long distance relationship which needs that much more effort to keep it going because of the pressures exerted by time and distance. However, this is not to say that long distance relationships are doomed from the start. If couples trust each other and make that extra effort to keep the fire burning, then, very few romantic encounters are as ecstatic as those, which come after periods of separation.

#Thought of the week# Trust is very important in a relationship,it is the foundation that keeps it all together!!