Friends with Benefits#FWB# is a term used for sex only relationships with a friend but do friends with benefits relationships work?
It’s easy to think or say, it’s just a bit of fun and nobody will get hurt, but the reality of these arrangements is more often than not a broken friendship and emotional pain for one participant. The worst reason to get into a friends with benefits relationship is fooling yourself that it can start out this way and will develop into a full blown romantic loving relationship … the odds are it won’t and you will just get hurt and used.
If you are tempted to get into a friends with benefits relationship perhaps in order to keep loneliness at bay for a short time or until Mr/Miss Right comes along then you may wish to consider these points before agreeing to be a friend with benefits.
Men and Woman ARE Different
Usually in friends with benefits relationships men are after the benefits and women are after the friendship, sorry men but that’s the honest truth#askies#. Firstly we have to understand the difference between love and lust and decide what we are really looking for. A night in with a friend, a pizza, weepy video and sofa hug will generally make a woman feel satisfied emotionally and it’s a small price for a man to pay to get the “benefits”
Would you agree to do this with just any friend?
I would think the answer is NO, so before agreeing to such an arrangement take a long hard look at a good friend of the opposite sex#or same sex if that is your thing# that you would definitely NOT agree to be a friend with benefits with. Why are they any different? You just need some sexual satisfaction with someone you trust but without emotional involvement right? In order to agree to sleep with someone there has to be some attraction involved and attraction is an emotion .. so how do you now stick to the rules of friends with benefits and not get emotionally involved? Think about it, its impossible guys
What Are the Benefits For You?
Given the above #you may not even be aware of any feelings you have for your friend but to even consider this arrangement you should accept those feelings must be there# what will happen to the friendship when those feelings begin to emerge for one of you? Can your friendship survive the hurt feelings of rejection or the jealousy when you see your friend with someone else. Of course you can deny, deny, deny your emotions but when you are back in your bed alone at night crying what benefit will you have gained from this arrangement? Before considering this arrangement ask yourself this..
•is it for you?
1. Ask yourself if no-strings sex is really what you want. Or is it just that nothing more seems on offer? If so, you deserve better – hold out for it.
2. Even if you fear commitment, do you want to lose a friend? Sex complicates a friendship and few FWBs stay friends once the sex stops.
3. If you want sex but no commitment and are nearer 30 than 20, you may end up lonely later. Think about counseling, to work out why you fear love.
Not Interesting Enough to Date
If someone you just met said “you don’t interest me enough to date but do you fancy a roll in the hay just to relieve my tensions” how would you react? #Well I know that I would beat the daylight out of him yerrrrrrr# In effect the friend that suggests a “friends with benefits” relationship is saying exactly the same thing, all they are looking for is sexual gratification without any strings or emotional attachment. Are you really willing to sell yourself so short?
You Deserve Better
I know it is really easy to say “you deserve better so wait for the right guy or girl” but that is no comfort when you are feeling lonely and looking for love. Loneliness is all consuming at times and causes us to hurt emotionally but we also know it comes and goes. Look, you can be miserable or motivate yourself it really is a choice we make and I personally don't think that you have to resort to friends with benefits all in the name of loneliness hai maan YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
This is what I think, sex with no commitment, no feelings no one to answer to might look good on paper but humans don’t operate like that. Inevitably, an attachment occurs, a bond occurs, and feelings develop. Even though people swear off it, somebody develops some kind of feelings. The only scenario where I see it work is when you're very young and just kind of messing around, or in two sex addicts acting out together. But, just like every other addiction, it eventually goes down in flames. So it only works for a while.
The other thing is “friends with benefits” is the flip side of repeated failed relationships. It’s the exact same phenomenon. So don’t think that you’re outsmarting relationships by doing that, you’re going down the same path, just the other side of the coin.
#Thought of the week# Know your worth!!
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