When a dream is alive inside of you it’s like a burning desire however, that is only the beginning. The desire fuels the fire for the rest of the process because dreams take many painstaking hours of study, skill, prayer and perseverance.
We all have a special purpose here on earth that was preordained by God. He has placed inside each of us a desire to use our gifts and abilities to serve each other in some way. This is where our dreams originate. It is our destiny. We can’t allow rejections and disappointments to make us give up on our dreams.
We need to set our minds on them and keep the fires burning. Regardless of our age or ability, it’s never too late to make our dreams come true!!
Many people never take steps to fulfill their dreams, It either requires too much work or they are afraid of failure and lack faith. Many things can keep us from living out our dreams. Lack of self-esteem is a MAJOR one.
One thing I have noticed is that people live like hamsters in a cage #as crazy as that sounds#. They get on the play wheel and start running like crazy, all the meanwhile wondering why they're not getting anywhere. They stop spinning the wheels once in a while #weekends# only to get back on the same wheel the following Monday. The possibilities we face on a daily basis are endless but we allow ourselves to get caught in a repetitive cycle everyday. We talk to the same people, we do the same work, we eat the same foods, we watch the same shows, we tell the same jokes, we laugh at the same stories, etc. It's time to get off the wheel and dare to venture out the cage and see the multitude of experiences and opportunities life has to offer you.
Yes you'll have people who will put you down, for some it might be family others friends and even spouses..I say don't even listen to them for they don't control your destiny.
Reasons why you should ignore everyone and follow your dreams #I live by these rules# :
•The only “yes” you need to follow your dreams is yours.
•You’ll regret it later in life and if you’re delaying it you’ll question yourself why didn’t you do it sooner.
•Not following your dreams makes you feel incomplete. Eventually this will stop you from dreaming altogether.
•It will attract some attention, even from the haters. You will feel strong as you prove the haters wrong. “The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” #can't remember who said that#
•People who follow their dreams are doers. Doers have more power to create, influence and change their environment… and eventually the world.
•Life feels more memorable, hence you feel/become more memorable.
•Following your dreams might take unexpected turns but those are the interesting and memorable challenges of living the dream.
•Those challenges will help you grow as they make you step out of your comfort zone.
•Dreams make you take chances, but chances can bring more opportunities.
Afraid about it? GOOD, being afraid makes you feel more alive so smash through that brick wall of fear. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.”
•Your dreams and your actions define you. Don’t let others define you with what they tell you to do and not to.
•You will inspire others to follow their own dreams even if they know nothing about you.
•Following your dreams makes you interesting.
•Who doesn’t love to challenge the status quo?
•There are no rules in life so why limit yourself to what everybody else is doing?
•Accomplishing your dreams will spark even bigger dreams.
•You feel you have something more to live for.
•Even if your dreams fail you’ll feel proud you gave it your all to accomplish them. •Dreamers tend to fail but they tend to learn more in life. You learn from failure. So dust yourself and try it again.
•It’s your life, live it under your terms!!
Bold.Eager.Dreamers. Bold - the chance and risk takers. Eager - the desire to learn more while chasing your dreams. Dreamers. All put into an acronym that spells the thing where dreams begin, BED.
It doesn’t matter where you are who you are or what others think of you. Your inner self is much greater and given the chance you can make a difference to yours and other people’s lives. Albert Einstein said “use what you have where you have it”. Success is within reach, all you have to do is stretch and grab hold of it and if you follow your dream, nature will always be on your side. You can change your tomorrow, if you follow your dream TODAY.
#Thought of the week# The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up!!
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend with greed...NEVER!!!
A true friend is very difficult to find in this society today. Everybody can say that a person is their friend but not identifying if that person is a true or a fake friend. I want to talk about fake friends..
Why do people try to bring you down for no reason? Because DOWN is where they live, they're either too lazy or too stupid to climb the ladder of success to make something of themselves and so they take it out on everyone else. Like my sis Sindiswa always says...
"Vu friends come and go unlike assholes who unfortunately will always be there" lol lol kwaaaaaaaa that always kills me #funny but true#
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell the difference between a fake friend and real friend. Here's a few guidelines based on my personal experience
•Fake friends promise you the world when you first meet them and totally charm you into thinking you're the center of their world. They do everything for you to make you feel secure #which is a lie because they're just setting you up to fall#.
•Fake friends are very shallow and get their happiness externally. They have very low self-esteem and like to surround themselves with shallow friendships that require low maintenance #and no reciprocation#, which makes them similar to an emotional leech.#and that is not good for you#
•Fake friends create a very one-sided friendship with a person where they get their needs met, but never meet yours. If you question why the fake friend suddenly cut you off, they deflect the blame back to you so that they don't have to feel guilty for knowingly using you.
•Fake friends will dominate the friendship's power balance, it's their way or the high way. It's like this people... the fake friend in her/his own mind is a leader and she/he has hand picked you to be her/his follower.
•Fake friends are huge gossipers. If you confide in them, know that they will spread lies about you like there's no tomorrow for their own gain of course #social status as a leader, not a follower# HOW STUPID!! And do they love talking about other people, I guess for them its better to do so because now the focus won't be on their pathetic lives #I'm just saying#
•Fake friends only want your help. They won't follow through on their promise to help you ever. They'll always have a convenient excuse as to why they're too busy to get together with you, or they'll tell you that you're being too needy when you confront them as to why they're blowing you off all of a sudden instead of just telling you the truth #which is that he/she doesn't want to hang out with you anymore because he/she has a million other follower friend types to take from#
•Fake friends will put you down to make themselves look better. If you share a success with a fake friend she will blow it off and talk about herself. These people are just parasites maan!!!
No matter how old we get, false friends can put deep scars on our hearts and big dents in our confidence. I have known this truth for as long as I have tried to make a friend or two, but each time I face it, I feel a sting. While psychologists report, it is only natural to feel hurt when we are wronged, I still feel stupid for getting wronged so many times! It doesn't really matter if it is natural to have a sorrowful reaction, lousy friends are just plain lousy people with zero personalities. And at the end of the day, these types of people don't deserve our friendship and they surely don't deserve the power to harm us.
It's normal to want a friend. Friendships are great when they are mutually satisfying and respectful. Enjoy people whenever you can, but take caution to never get lost in your desire for friendship.
#Thought of the week# Be honest with yourself. If you feel you have more bad times than good times with another person, reassess the pros and cons of keeping the friendship alive
Why do people try to bring you down for no reason? Because DOWN is where they live, they're either too lazy or too stupid to climb the ladder of success to make something of themselves and so they take it out on everyone else. Like my sis Sindiswa always says...
"Vu friends come and go unlike assholes who unfortunately will always be there" lol lol kwaaaaaaaa that always kills me #funny but true#
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell the difference between a fake friend and real friend. Here's a few guidelines based on my personal experience
•Fake friends promise you the world when you first meet them and totally charm you into thinking you're the center of their world. They do everything for you to make you feel secure #which is a lie because they're just setting you up to fall#.
•Fake friends are very shallow and get their happiness externally. They have very low self-esteem and like to surround themselves with shallow friendships that require low maintenance #and no reciprocation#, which makes them similar to an emotional leech.#and that is not good for you#
•Fake friends create a very one-sided friendship with a person where they get their needs met, but never meet yours. If you question why the fake friend suddenly cut you off, they deflect the blame back to you so that they don't have to feel guilty for knowingly using you.
•Fake friends will dominate the friendship's power balance, it's their way or the high way. It's like this people... the fake friend in her/his own mind is a leader and she/he has hand picked you to be her/his follower.
•Fake friends are huge gossipers. If you confide in them, know that they will spread lies about you like there's no tomorrow for their own gain of course #social status as a leader, not a follower# HOW STUPID!! And do they love talking about other people, I guess for them its better to do so because now the focus won't be on their pathetic lives #I'm just saying#
•Fake friends only want your help. They won't follow through on their promise to help you ever. They'll always have a convenient excuse as to why they're too busy to get together with you, or they'll tell you that you're being too needy when you confront them as to why they're blowing you off all of a sudden instead of just telling you the truth #which is that he/she doesn't want to hang out with you anymore because he/she has a million other follower friend types to take from#
•Fake friends will put you down to make themselves look better. If you share a success with a fake friend she will blow it off and talk about herself. These people are just parasites maan!!!
No matter how old we get, false friends can put deep scars on our hearts and big dents in our confidence. I have known this truth for as long as I have tried to make a friend or two, but each time I face it, I feel a sting. While psychologists report, it is only natural to feel hurt when we are wronged, I still feel stupid for getting wronged so many times! It doesn't really matter if it is natural to have a sorrowful reaction, lousy friends are just plain lousy people with zero personalities. And at the end of the day, these types of people don't deserve our friendship and they surely don't deserve the power to harm us.
It's normal to want a friend. Friendships are great when they are mutually satisfying and respectful. Enjoy people whenever you can, but take caution to never get lost in your desire for friendship.
#Thought of the week# Be honest with yourself. If you feel you have more bad times than good times with another person, reassess the pros and cons of keeping the friendship alive
Monday, 30 January 2012
TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME, BUT ONE MUST FALL
Friends with Benefits#FWB# is a term used for sex only relationships with a friend but do friends with benefits relationships work?
It’s easy to think or say, it’s just a bit of fun and nobody will get hurt, but the reality of these arrangements is more often than not a broken friendship and emotional pain for one participant. The worst reason to get into a friends with benefits relationship is fooling yourself that it can start out this way and will develop into a full blown romantic loving relationship … the odds are it won’t and you will just get hurt and used.
If you are tempted to get into a friends with benefits relationship perhaps in order to keep loneliness at bay for a short time or until Mr/Miss Right comes along then you may wish to consider these points before agreeing to be a friend with benefits.
Men and Woman ARE Different
Usually in friends with benefits relationships men are after the benefits and women are after the friendship, sorry men but that’s the honest truth#askies#. Firstly we have to understand the difference between love and lust and decide what we are really looking for. A night in with a friend, a pizza, weepy video and sofa hug will generally make a woman feel satisfied emotionally and it’s a small price for a man to pay to get the “benefits”
Would you agree to do this with just any friend?
I would think the answer is NO, so before agreeing to such an arrangement take a long hard look at a good friend of the opposite sex#or same sex if that is your thing# that you would definitely NOT agree to be a friend with benefits with. Why are they any different? You just need some sexual satisfaction with someone you trust but without emotional involvement right? In order to agree to sleep with someone there has to be some attraction involved and attraction is an emotion .. so how do you now stick to the rules of friends with benefits and not get emotionally involved? Think about it, its impossible guys
What Are the Benefits For You?
Given the above #you may not even be aware of any feelings you have for your friend but to even consider this arrangement you should accept those feelings must be there# what will happen to the friendship when those feelings begin to emerge for one of you? Can your friendship survive the hurt feelings of rejection or the jealousy when you see your friend with someone else. Of course you can deny, deny, deny your emotions but when you are back in your bed alone at night crying what benefit will you have gained from this arrangement? Before considering this arrangement ask yourself this..
•is it for you?
1. Ask yourself if no-strings sex is really what you want. Or is it just that nothing more seems on offer? If so, you deserve better – hold out for it.
2. Even if you fear commitment, do you want to lose a friend? Sex complicates a friendship and few FWBs stay friends once the sex stops.
3. If you want sex but no commitment and are nearer 30 than 20, you may end up lonely later. Think about counseling, to work out why you fear love.
Not Interesting Enough to Date
If someone you just met said “you don’t interest me enough to date but do you fancy a roll in the hay just to relieve my tensions” how would you react? #Well I know that I would beat the daylight out of him yerrrrrrr# In effect the friend that suggests a “friends with benefits” relationship is saying exactly the same thing, all they are looking for is sexual gratification without any strings or emotional attachment. Are you really willing to sell yourself so short?
You Deserve Better
I know it is really easy to say “you deserve better so wait for the right guy or girl” but that is no comfort when you are feeling lonely and looking for love. Loneliness is all consuming at times and causes us to hurt emotionally but we also know it comes and goes. Look, you can be miserable or motivate yourself it really is a choice we make and I personally don't think that you have to resort to friends with benefits all in the name of loneliness hai maan YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
This is what I think, sex with no commitment, no feelings no one to answer to might look good on paper but humans don’t operate like that. Inevitably, an attachment occurs, a bond occurs, and feelings develop. Even though people swear off it, somebody develops some kind of feelings. The only scenario where I see it work is when you're very young and just kind of messing around, or in two sex addicts acting out together. But, just like every other addiction, it eventually goes down in flames. So it only works for a while.
The other thing is “friends with benefits” is the flip side of repeated failed relationships. It’s the exact same phenomenon. So don’t think that you’re outsmarting relationships by doing that, you’re going down the same path, just the other side of the coin.
#Thought of the week# Know your worth!!
It’s easy to think or say, it’s just a bit of fun and nobody will get hurt, but the reality of these arrangements is more often than not a broken friendship and emotional pain for one participant. The worst reason to get into a friends with benefits relationship is fooling yourself that it can start out this way and will develop into a full blown romantic loving relationship … the odds are it won’t and you will just get hurt and used.
If you are tempted to get into a friends with benefits relationship perhaps in order to keep loneliness at bay for a short time or until Mr/Miss Right comes along then you may wish to consider these points before agreeing to be a friend with benefits.
Men and Woman ARE Different
Usually in friends with benefits relationships men are after the benefits and women are after the friendship, sorry men but that’s the honest truth#askies#. Firstly we have to understand the difference between love and lust and decide what we are really looking for. A night in with a friend, a pizza, weepy video and sofa hug will generally make a woman feel satisfied emotionally and it’s a small price for a man to pay to get the “benefits”
Would you agree to do this with just any friend?
I would think the answer is NO, so before agreeing to such an arrangement take a long hard look at a good friend of the opposite sex#or same sex if that is your thing# that you would definitely NOT agree to be a friend with benefits with. Why are they any different? You just need some sexual satisfaction with someone you trust but without emotional involvement right? In order to agree to sleep with someone there has to be some attraction involved and attraction is an emotion .. so how do you now stick to the rules of friends with benefits and not get emotionally involved? Think about it, its impossible guys
What Are the Benefits For You?
Given the above #you may not even be aware of any feelings you have for your friend but to even consider this arrangement you should accept those feelings must be there# what will happen to the friendship when those feelings begin to emerge for one of you? Can your friendship survive the hurt feelings of rejection or the jealousy when you see your friend with someone else. Of course you can deny, deny, deny your emotions but when you are back in your bed alone at night crying what benefit will you have gained from this arrangement? Before considering this arrangement ask yourself this..
•is it for you?
1. Ask yourself if no-strings sex is really what you want. Or is it just that nothing more seems on offer? If so, you deserve better – hold out for it.
2. Even if you fear commitment, do you want to lose a friend? Sex complicates a friendship and few FWBs stay friends once the sex stops.
3. If you want sex but no commitment and are nearer 30 than 20, you may end up lonely later. Think about counseling, to work out why you fear love.
Not Interesting Enough to Date
If someone you just met said “you don’t interest me enough to date but do you fancy a roll in the hay just to relieve my tensions” how would you react? #Well I know that I would beat the daylight out of him yerrrrrrr# In effect the friend that suggests a “friends with benefits” relationship is saying exactly the same thing, all they are looking for is sexual gratification without any strings or emotional attachment. Are you really willing to sell yourself so short?
You Deserve Better
I know it is really easy to say “you deserve better so wait for the right guy or girl” but that is no comfort when you are feeling lonely and looking for love. Loneliness is all consuming at times and causes us to hurt emotionally but we also know it comes and goes. Look, you can be miserable or motivate yourself it really is a choice we make and I personally don't think that you have to resort to friends with benefits all in the name of loneliness hai maan YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
This is what I think, sex with no commitment, no feelings no one to answer to might look good on paper but humans don’t operate like that. Inevitably, an attachment occurs, a bond occurs, and feelings develop. Even though people swear off it, somebody develops some kind of feelings. The only scenario where I see it work is when you're very young and just kind of messing around, or in two sex addicts acting out together. But, just like every other addiction, it eventually goes down in flames. So it only works for a while.
The other thing is “friends with benefits” is the flip side of repeated failed relationships. It’s the exact same phenomenon. So don’t think that you’re outsmarting relationships by doing that, you’re going down the same path, just the other side of the coin.
#Thought of the week# Know your worth!!
Friday, 20 January 2012
NETWORKING DILEMMA
Here is something we can all identify with. Facebook and its affect on the relationship. I can guarantee that 80 percent of all of Facebook’s 500 million users have had a Facebook related spat during a relationship. So if you’re having trouble with your lover on Facebook, you’re not alone.
While the network does offer opportunities for meaningful social interactions and self-esteem boosts, it also opens options for spying, stalking and other insecurity and jealousy driven actions between lovers.
From new relationship announcements to breakups to digital(photos) PDA#I'm so not a fan of#, can have an impact on how others#including your partner# see you.
As a user of Facebook, I have to admit to being surprised at how much the site affects people’s relationships. If someone changes their status from single to in a relationship and their significant other doesn’t reciprocate yhuuuuuuuu JEHOVAH people get upset. If you just became an official couple, who is the one that will change their status first? Or let’s say you just broke up but then you got back together. Then who should change their status first? Yhuuuuuu hai 'Its complicated' as one of the relationship status options would say, unnecessary stress if you ask me.
I read an article about how US lawyers say that Facebook is a top cause of relationship trouble which can even lead to divorce like seriously people DIVORCE. The article goes on about how one spouse would connect with an old school friend then they would secretly communicate causing the other partner to be jealous pushing his/her spouse towards this old friend which would eventually lead to an affair, it further goes on to say that facebook does not only lead to divorce but other legal battles too like child custody, parents would deny using illicit drugs but boast of smoking marijuana on their Facebook pages. #HECTIC#
Moving along to other Facebook problems..
• We have the “hot girl” Facebook friends list.
He’s got a lot of hot girls as friends and you’re a tiny bit jealous. What do you do?
Well I say nothing, especially if they were friends with him before you both started dating. The best thing you can do is not to look at his friends list EVER It’ll save you time and energy researching all of those girls. If they leave more than one flirtatious comment (and I mean something that’s borderline offensive) then you should talk about it.
•He is friends with an ex
What should you do?
Eish not a good situation ne but it can be okay. I’m friends with my exes on Facebook and there is nothing to it hey so really that shouldn't even be of concern to you don't even waste your energy thinking about it.
•He never writes on your Facebook wall or comments on the posts you send him, but you see him on Facebook all of the time communicating with his other Facebook buddies.
Honestly I think that it is totally immature to let something so simple evolve into a spat. WENA WHY ULANDELELA?!? #Lol just joking# Mara ke, when it does come up I suggest you talk to your partner in a polite way and DON'T and I repeat DON'T start accusing him/her of anything just express how the situation affects you and hopefully you will come up with a solution
Listen, I personally don’t think a social site is worth your relationship and if it fails because of it your relationship wasn’t strong in the first place. I know plenty of people who’ve had relationships end because of Facebook. Sometimes it’s unfortunate because you get those conniving women who have nothing else better to do but break up your relationship.#believe me I know because this has happened to me#
So my suggestion to you is to not be friends with your boo if you are the type of person to feed in to negativity. Haters are everywhere and a lot of them reside on FB. The purpose of a social network is to be sociable to have the chance to communicate with people you don’t see on the regular. Hopefully you see your boo on the regular and if you do answer this...
What’s the point of being his friend on a social network?
He's already your friend in real life and you know more about his whereabouts than his friends on FB or whatever site. You have his number and address for God’s sake you don’t need to be in every single part of his life. If you have trust issues please think about it before you become friends with your lover but then again why are you with your partner if you don't trust them?!? One thing to think about...
#Thought of the week# Learn to trust your partner so that you can have a healthy and stress free relationship
While the network does offer opportunities for meaningful social interactions and self-esteem boosts, it also opens options for spying, stalking and other insecurity and jealousy driven actions between lovers.
From new relationship announcements to breakups to digital(photos) PDA#I'm so not a fan of#, can have an impact on how others#including your partner# see you.
As a user of Facebook, I have to admit to being surprised at how much the site affects people’s relationships. If someone changes their status from single to in a relationship and their significant other doesn’t reciprocate yhuuuuuuuu JEHOVAH people get upset. If you just became an official couple, who is the one that will change their status first? Or let’s say you just broke up but then you got back together. Then who should change their status first? Yhuuuuuu hai 'Its complicated' as one of the relationship status options would say, unnecessary stress if you ask me.
I read an article about how US lawyers say that Facebook is a top cause of relationship trouble which can even lead to divorce like seriously people DIVORCE. The article goes on about how one spouse would connect with an old school friend then they would secretly communicate causing the other partner to be jealous pushing his/her spouse towards this old friend which would eventually lead to an affair, it further goes on to say that facebook does not only lead to divorce but other legal battles too like child custody, parents would deny using illicit drugs but boast of smoking marijuana on their Facebook pages. #HECTIC#
Moving along to other Facebook problems..
• We have the “hot girl” Facebook friends list.
He’s got a lot of hot girls as friends and you’re a tiny bit jealous. What do you do?
Well I say nothing, especially if they were friends with him before you both started dating. The best thing you can do is not to look at his friends list EVER It’ll save you time and energy researching all of those girls. If they leave more than one flirtatious comment (and I mean something that’s borderline offensive) then you should talk about it.
•He is friends with an ex
What should you do?
Eish not a good situation ne but it can be okay. I’m friends with my exes on Facebook and there is nothing to it hey so really that shouldn't even be of concern to you don't even waste your energy thinking about it.
•He never writes on your Facebook wall or comments on the posts you send him, but you see him on Facebook all of the time communicating with his other Facebook buddies.
Honestly I think that it is totally immature to let something so simple evolve into a spat. WENA WHY ULANDELELA?!? #Lol just joking# Mara ke, when it does come up I suggest you talk to your partner in a polite way and DON'T and I repeat DON'T start accusing him/her of anything just express how the situation affects you and hopefully you will come up with a solution
Listen, I personally don’t think a social site is worth your relationship and if it fails because of it your relationship wasn’t strong in the first place. I know plenty of people who’ve had relationships end because of Facebook. Sometimes it’s unfortunate because you get those conniving women who have nothing else better to do but break up your relationship.#believe me I know because this has happened to me#
So my suggestion to you is to not be friends with your boo if you are the type of person to feed in to negativity. Haters are everywhere and a lot of them reside on FB. The purpose of a social network is to be sociable to have the chance to communicate with people you don’t see on the regular. Hopefully you see your boo on the regular and if you do answer this...
What’s the point of being his friend on a social network?
He's already your friend in real life and you know more about his whereabouts than his friends on FB or whatever site. You have his number and address for God’s sake you don’t need to be in every single part of his life. If you have trust issues please think about it before you become friends with your lover but then again why are you with your partner if you don't trust them?!? One thing to think about...
#Thought of the week# Learn to trust your partner so that you can have a healthy and stress free relationship
Thursday, 12 January 2012
MY VIEW ON COLOUR BLOCKING
The streets of Mzantsi are full of colour from Katlehong to Springs to Soweto to Gugulethu to Camps Bay and even Mafikeng to name a few and it is all because of colour blocking nje. But honestly some people tend to take it a bit too far.
Naturally, we quickly jump at trends, rock them and in the end, over-step the boundaries. Recently, I have seen the worst versions of colour blocking JEHOVAH...I’m talking migraine-causing colour blocking. Some individuals have gone so far as to colour block their make-up and manage to put some clowns out of business. Seriously #no joke#!
So I took out the time to search out some essential colour blocking rules, apparently wearing one of the biggest fashion trends of 2011 is not as easy as it looks. So the next time you decide to cause a photosensitive epileptic seizure with your outfit, PLEASE re-think, ask a family member to check you out and finally look at yourself in the MIRROR!!! #Don't colour blind us please# Here are more tips..
Get your combos right
To flawlessly accomplish this trend choose the right colour combinations. Examples of colour-block colours that work well together are pink and purple, yellow and green, red and pink, cobalt-blue and red, green and blue and pink and orange.
The brighter the better
If you are bold enough for colour blocking there is no point in investing in pale colours and dull shades (no matter how much they clash). That would just look faint hearted. Go bright or go home!
Invest in a pair of coloured jeans
A bright pair of jeans is a good start for a colour blocking newbie and a staple for a colour blocking addict like myself. Something in the colours pink, red or blue will do it for you and please my thick ladies there are no rules here you can wear any colour jean yes even white as long as you pair it with a loose fitted top/shirt. You know the rule, we can't be looking like some stuffed sausages..for every tight top the bottom has to be loose and vice versa.
Mix up your fabric
To avoid looking like you are off to a rave or circus, choose rich fabric such as silk, satin and cotton in bright colours. They will add a splash of luxury to your look and give the bright block colour an even more sumptuous feel. You'll look like a million dollars without even spending a million dollars #now you know my secret#
Do not overdo it
It’s not that more than three to four colours don’t look nice, it just looks very ramp-ish and cheap. Besides more colours will keep cutting your body shape here and there, in this way accomplishing the opposite of its intended effect. #This is especially to my thick ladies#
Colour blocking without colour clashing
If you don’t feel brave enough to clash your colours, you can still wear the colour blocking trend by wearing one vibrant shade from top to bottom for example, wear a long dress in sunshine yellow, bright red or eye-popping pink.
Tone the look down with a simple black or white tee
A black or white tee in a cotton and/or silk mix will complement bright coloured trousers or skirts beautifully.
Add pops of colours with accessories
The easiest way to wear the colour blocking trend is to add an accessory or two in deliciously-bright colours. A bright pink clutch bag, a pair of yellow shoes, blue bangle is all you need to lift an understated outfit up. #my favourite shoes and bag#
Mix bright colours with light ones
A simple way to tone the look down is by wearing one brightly coloured piece and keeping the rest of the outfit muted by wearing neutral shades. For example, a colour block shift dress in red or bright orange will look fantastic with nude shoes.
Wear brightly coloured stripes
If you still don’t have the balls to rock this trend all-out, you can start by investing in a dress with vivid coloured stripes. And then progress gradually till you are bold enough to do a thorough colour block.
Keep the look suitable for work
The best way to wear this trend for work is by choosing items in colours that are updated styles of usual work wear. For example, swap your navy suit with a more vivid blue. Tone the look down with a simple white shirt. #please guys don't overdo it by going to work looking like a clown, look professional guys PLEASE#
Dear friends, these simple rules are all you need to achieve the perfect colour block. Do not say you weren’t told because the next time I see you in public causing a catastrophe with your supposed colour-block outfit or your make-up, forgive me if I walk up to you with a revolting face with my hand on my chest and say “excuse me dear, you are colour-blocking my view JEHOVAH”
#Thought of the week# Be one with your clothes, have an understanding so that you can always look fabulous!!
Naturally, we quickly jump at trends, rock them and in the end, over-step the boundaries. Recently, I have seen the worst versions of colour blocking JEHOVAH...I’m talking migraine-causing colour blocking. Some individuals have gone so far as to colour block their make-up and manage to put some clowns out of business. Seriously #no joke#!
So I took out the time to search out some essential colour blocking rules, apparently wearing one of the biggest fashion trends of 2011 is not as easy as it looks. So the next time you decide to cause a photosensitive epileptic seizure with your outfit, PLEASE re-think, ask a family member to check you out and finally look at yourself in the MIRROR!!! #Don't colour blind us please# Here are more tips..
Get your combos right
To flawlessly accomplish this trend choose the right colour combinations. Examples of colour-block colours that work well together are pink and purple, yellow and green, red and pink, cobalt-blue and red, green and blue and pink and orange.
The brighter the better
If you are bold enough for colour blocking there is no point in investing in pale colours and dull shades (no matter how much they clash). That would just look faint hearted. Go bright or go home!
Invest in a pair of coloured jeans
A bright pair of jeans is a good start for a colour blocking newbie and a staple for a colour blocking addict like myself. Something in the colours pink, red or blue will do it for you and please my thick ladies there are no rules here you can wear any colour jean yes even white as long as you pair it with a loose fitted top/shirt. You know the rule, we can't be looking like some stuffed sausages..for every tight top the bottom has to be loose and vice versa.
Mix up your fabric
To avoid looking like you are off to a rave or circus, choose rich fabric such as silk, satin and cotton in bright colours. They will add a splash of luxury to your look and give the bright block colour an even more sumptuous feel. You'll look like a million dollars without even spending a million dollars #now you know my secret#
Do not overdo it
It’s not that more than three to four colours don’t look nice, it just looks very ramp-ish and cheap. Besides more colours will keep cutting your body shape here and there, in this way accomplishing the opposite of its intended effect. #This is especially to my thick ladies#
Colour blocking without colour clashing
If you don’t feel brave enough to clash your colours, you can still wear the colour blocking trend by wearing one vibrant shade from top to bottom for example, wear a long dress in sunshine yellow, bright red or eye-popping pink.
Tone the look down with a simple black or white tee
A black or white tee in a cotton and/or silk mix will complement bright coloured trousers or skirts beautifully.
Add pops of colours with accessories
The easiest way to wear the colour blocking trend is to add an accessory or two in deliciously-bright colours. A bright pink clutch bag, a pair of yellow shoes, blue bangle is all you need to lift an understated outfit up. #my favourite shoes and bag#
Mix bright colours with light ones
A simple way to tone the look down is by wearing one brightly coloured piece and keeping the rest of the outfit muted by wearing neutral shades. For example, a colour block shift dress in red or bright orange will look fantastic with nude shoes.
Wear brightly coloured stripes
If you still don’t have the balls to rock this trend all-out, you can start by investing in a dress with vivid coloured stripes. And then progress gradually till you are bold enough to do a thorough colour block.
Keep the look suitable for work
The best way to wear this trend for work is by choosing items in colours that are updated styles of usual work wear. For example, swap your navy suit with a more vivid blue. Tone the look down with a simple white shirt. #please guys don't overdo it by going to work looking like a clown, look professional guys PLEASE#
Dear friends, these simple rules are all you need to achieve the perfect colour block. Do not say you weren’t told because the next time I see you in public causing a catastrophe with your supposed colour-block outfit or your make-up, forgive me if I walk up to you with a revolting face with my hand on my chest and say “excuse me dear, you are colour-blocking my view JEHOVAH”
#Thought of the week# Be one with your clothes, have an understanding so that you can always look fabulous!!
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
NYAOPE, the silent killer!!
Hi there again, I'm back in this space. Last night I watched a programme on tv, 3rd Degree and it was about the drug Nyaope and how its destroying the lives of young South Africans. For those who don't know what Nyaope is well it is a mixture of dagga and cheap heroin.
The mix has different names, including kataza, pinch and ungu. The drug originated in 2006 in the Pretoria townships of Soshanguve, Atteridgeville and Mamelodi.Nyaope is sometimes mixed with rat poison to enhance its effects. This easily affordable drug is spreading throughout South Africa.The high from the drug lasts for between two to four hours.Small doses of Nyaope causes euphoria and a sense of warmth and wellbeing while larger doses cause drowsiness, feelings of being content, safe and relaxed.Nyaope addicts tend to lead chaotic and criminal lives, revolving around getting their next fix. They explore various ways of obtaining money to buy the drug. The option for most is theft but women often turn to prostitution(very sad). As the drug takes hold and they stop thinking rationally, values and beliefs are forgotten. Nyaope is so addictive that those in its grips have resorted to selling parts from their cars to pay for their next fix(or stealing them from other people's cars,like one of the young men in the programme I watched..he stole from taxi drivers and they gave him one hell of a beating but that did not stop him).Personal hygiene becomes lax and addicts often do not eat proper meals.The drug soon takes its toll on the body, with physical symptoms including severe withdrawals when Nyaope cannot be sourced, bacterial infections of the blood vessels and heart valves, damage to the liver and the kidneys, lung complications and overdose which can lead to death.
Due to the severe withdrawal symptoms experienced, it is difficult to stop using Nyaope without professional help, which offers the medication necessary to control the worst of these symptoms. According to the South African National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, about 10 teenagers a month seek rehabilitation. This shows that more and more people are becoming aware of the effects of Nyaope and are willing to go into a treatment programme. The unfortunate part is that the treatment of heroin addiction is not cheap because of the high cost of the medication needed to control withdrawal symptoms. Although some rehabilitation centres in Gauteng offer subsidised beds for those in need of urgent treatment and without the means to pay for it, need often outstrips availability. It is vital that as a community we create an awareness of the dangers of drugs and support initiatives taken by the government and non-governmental organisations to curb drug use , only through the combined efforts of society can spiralling drug abuse rates be curtailed. Report suspected drug dealers, support awareness efforts, talk to your teenagers,your friends and even siblings about the dangers of drugs and suggest treatment options to those who may have become addicted.
This means so much to me because I lost a very special person in my life because of substance abuse, I am starting a drug awareness campaign in my community to help those who may have become addicted and to warn those who are even thinking about experimenting about the dangers of drugs.
For more info or if you want to get involved please send me an email on Vjaphta@gmail.com
#Thought of the week# Drugs kill, love yourself enough to not destroy yourself with drugs!!
The mix has different names, including kataza, pinch and ungu. The drug originated in 2006 in the Pretoria townships of Soshanguve, Atteridgeville and Mamelodi.Nyaope is sometimes mixed with rat poison to enhance its effects. This easily affordable drug is spreading throughout South Africa.The high from the drug lasts for between two to four hours.Small doses of Nyaope causes euphoria and a sense of warmth and wellbeing while larger doses cause drowsiness, feelings of being content, safe and relaxed.Nyaope addicts tend to lead chaotic and criminal lives, revolving around getting their next fix. They explore various ways of obtaining money to buy the drug. The option for most is theft but women often turn to prostitution(very sad). As the drug takes hold and they stop thinking rationally, values and beliefs are forgotten. Nyaope is so addictive that those in its grips have resorted to selling parts from their cars to pay for their next fix(or stealing them from other people's cars,like one of the young men in the programme I watched..he stole from taxi drivers and they gave him one hell of a beating but that did not stop him).Personal hygiene becomes lax and addicts often do not eat proper meals.The drug soon takes its toll on the body, with physical symptoms including severe withdrawals when Nyaope cannot be sourced, bacterial infections of the blood vessels and heart valves, damage to the liver and the kidneys, lung complications and overdose which can lead to death.
Due to the severe withdrawal symptoms experienced, it is difficult to stop using Nyaope without professional help, which offers the medication necessary to control the worst of these symptoms. According to the South African National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, about 10 teenagers a month seek rehabilitation. This shows that more and more people are becoming aware of the effects of Nyaope and are willing to go into a treatment programme. The unfortunate part is that the treatment of heroin addiction is not cheap because of the high cost of the medication needed to control withdrawal symptoms. Although some rehabilitation centres in Gauteng offer subsidised beds for those in need of urgent treatment and without the means to pay for it, need often outstrips availability. It is vital that as a community we create an awareness of the dangers of drugs and support initiatives taken by the government and non-governmental organisations to curb drug use , only through the combined efforts of society can spiralling drug abuse rates be curtailed. Report suspected drug dealers, support awareness efforts, talk to your teenagers,your friends and even siblings about the dangers of drugs and suggest treatment options to those who may have become addicted.
This means so much to me because I lost a very special person in my life because of substance abuse, I am starting a drug awareness campaign in my community to help those who may have become addicted and to warn those who are even thinking about experimenting about the dangers of drugs.
For more info or if you want to get involved please send me an email on Vjaphta@gmail.com
#Thought of the week# Drugs kill, love yourself enough to not destroy yourself with drugs!!
Thursday, 14 July 2011
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS : what not to do
Hello again guys,I hope that all has been well with all of you. Relationships are hard period but to be in a long distance relationship is even harder,you don't see the person as often as you would like to and the fact that you are miles apart makes it hard for you to trust your partner. Many relationships fail due to this,yes love is a very important tool in a relationship but people also need to understand that trust is just as important and without it your relationship is doomed.
Most long distance relationships don't stand the test of time because the people in them make mistakes,I call them 'the no no nos of long distance relationships'..
Every relationship – whether separated by distance or not – requires that two individuals give each other enough space to grow. However, when you have been away from each other for a long time, you might want to be clued into everything that your partner is doing – what he did over the weekend, who were the friends she went out with for shopping or what is for dinner tonight. While it is a good idea to be in touch on daily basis, prying too much into your partner’s routine or social life may put him or her off the relationship.
Appearing insecure
If you are insecure about the people your partner is meeting while living away from you, then it is a sign, that you are not emotionally mature enough for a long distance relationship. If you keep nagging your partner about how miserable it is for the two of you and how the other couples have it so well, it is bound to upset him or her that you feel so miserable about the relationship. Instead, look at the positive side to a long-distance relationship and take heart, that a meeting after a period of absence will be that much sweeter.

Making allegations of infidelity
Once the seeds of suspicion have been planted in your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it means that you do not trust your partner wholeheartedly. Worse still, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you, without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.
Taking your partner for granted
While it is a mistake to nag your partner about his or her life away from you, it is equally fatal to take your lover for granted. It is a fact, that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship, it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort, to keep it going. Be creative in coming up with romantic ideas to spice up your relationship, even if it is separated by distance.
Not involving your partner in the relationship
When the two of you are living separately, it is easy to fall into the habit of taking decisions on your own. But take care to involve you partner, in matters where you both are concerned. For instance, ask your lover what he or she thinks of a Caribbean cruise the next time you can be together. Or inform your partner before you make any changes to a joint bank or credit card account.
Adopting a wait-and-see stance
Very often, couples living away from each other, do not believe that their relationship can work, but at the same time they are reluctant to let go of each other. If you keep sitting on the fence, waiting to see how things might turn out, remember that this is not a relationship at all and will get you nowhere.
Saving all your money for later
If it is within your means, make sure that you can meet up with your partner as often as possible. It makes no sense, saving your money now and planning to spend it later, when you have agreed that this relationship is your future. So why not spend on it?
Not being in touch
Pick up your partner’s phone calls, even if it is to say that you’ll be calling back. Keep in touch with each other by phone, email and text messages. A good way of bridging the distance just a little, is to use a web cam, since this offers a way to visually communicate with each other in real time.
Having an affair yourself
The biggest mistake, in my opinion, is to look for a third person to fill in for your partner, when he or she is not around. By allowing an outsider to enter your life – however briefly – you are breaking the basic bond of mutual trust that holds two people together. This is not only cheating on your partner, but an indication that you do not believe in the relationship yourself.
Not having enough faith in the relationship
There is no dearth of pessimists, who are ready to write off long distance relationships as impractical and thus impossible to maintain. Don’t believe all that critics say, because once you give in to their negative comments, you will always feel haunted by its risks – both imagined and real – until it will actually destroy your relationship. So if and when you do decide to enter into a long distance relationship, give it your all and it will surely enrich your life.
These are some of the mistakes most common in a long distance relationship which needs that much more effort to keep it going because of the pressures exerted by time and distance. However, this is not to say that long distance relationships are doomed from the start. If couples trust each other and make that extra effort to keep the fire burning, then, very few romantic encounters are as ecstatic as those, which come after periods of separation.
#Thought of the week# Trust is very important in a relationship,it is the foundation that keeps it all together!!
Most long distance relationships don't stand the test of time because the people in them make mistakes,I call them 'the no no nos of long distance relationships'..
Every relationship – whether separated by distance or not – requires that two individuals give each other enough space to grow. However, when you have been away from each other for a long time, you might want to be clued into everything that your partner is doing – what he did over the weekend, who were the friends she went out with for shopping or what is for dinner tonight. While it is a good idea to be in touch on daily basis, prying too much into your partner’s routine or social life may put him or her off the relationship.
Appearing insecure
If you are insecure about the people your partner is meeting while living away from you, then it is a sign, that you are not emotionally mature enough for a long distance relationship. If you keep nagging your partner about how miserable it is for the two of you and how the other couples have it so well, it is bound to upset him or her that you feel so miserable about the relationship. Instead, look at the positive side to a long-distance relationship and take heart, that a meeting after a period of absence will be that much sweeter.

Making allegations of infidelity
Once the seeds of suspicion have been planted in your relationship, it is the beginning of the end. If you are suspicious of your partner’s co-workers, friends, flat mates and other social acquaintances, it means that you do not trust your partner wholeheartedly. Worse still, if you charge your partner with being unfaithful to you, without any concrete evidence, it means that the faith in your relationship has gone and every relationship –long distance or not – is bound to collapse without the foundation stone of trust.
Taking your partner for granted
While it is a mistake to nag your partner about his or her life away from you, it is equally fatal to take your lover for granted. It is a fact, that every relationship needs to be nurtured in order to blossom, but in a long distance relationship, it is especially crucial that you put in that extra bit of effort, to keep it going. Be creative in coming up with romantic ideas to spice up your relationship, even if it is separated by distance.
Not involving your partner in the relationship
When the two of you are living separately, it is easy to fall into the habit of taking decisions on your own. But take care to involve you partner, in matters where you both are concerned. For instance, ask your lover what he or she thinks of a Caribbean cruise the next time you can be together. Or inform your partner before you make any changes to a joint bank or credit card account.
Adopting a wait-and-see stance
Very often, couples living away from each other, do not believe that their relationship can work, but at the same time they are reluctant to let go of each other. If you keep sitting on the fence, waiting to see how things might turn out, remember that this is not a relationship at all and will get you nowhere.
Saving all your money for later
If it is within your means, make sure that you can meet up with your partner as often as possible. It makes no sense, saving your money now and planning to spend it later, when you have agreed that this relationship is your future. So why not spend on it?
Not being in touch
Pick up your partner’s phone calls, even if it is to say that you’ll be calling back. Keep in touch with each other by phone, email and text messages. A good way of bridging the distance just a little, is to use a web cam, since this offers a way to visually communicate with each other in real time.
Having an affair yourself
The biggest mistake, in my opinion, is to look for a third person to fill in for your partner, when he or she is not around. By allowing an outsider to enter your life – however briefly – you are breaking the basic bond of mutual trust that holds two people together. This is not only cheating on your partner, but an indication that you do not believe in the relationship yourself.
Not having enough faith in the relationship
There is no dearth of pessimists, who are ready to write off long distance relationships as impractical and thus impossible to maintain. Don’t believe all that critics say, because once you give in to their negative comments, you will always feel haunted by its risks – both imagined and real – until it will actually destroy your relationship. So if and when you do decide to enter into a long distance relationship, give it your all and it will surely enrich your life.
These are some of the mistakes most common in a long distance relationship which needs that much more effort to keep it going because of the pressures exerted by time and distance. However, this is not to say that long distance relationships are doomed from the start. If couples trust each other and make that extra effort to keep the fire burning, then, very few romantic encounters are as ecstatic as those, which come after periods of separation.
#Thought of the week# Trust is very important in a relationship,it is the foundation that keeps it all together!!
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